


The Perfect Kind Of Thunder

by life_not_knife



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-07-22 15:19:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7444138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/life_not_knife/pseuds/life_not_knife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘Kyungsoo’s bare feet pad light steps down the two flights of stairs and towards the kitchen where he smells eggs, bacon and coffee. That’s odd, Jongin hates coffee and the smell of it too.’</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Illusions

**Author's Note:**

> Brownie points if you recognise the film reference in here.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

The bellowing of the wind is loud and unforgiving as it lashes heavy rain against the window pane. The neighbour’s sun umbrella (still left in the garden, closed and beside the outdoor furniture as always) is taking a beating with its rigid inflexibility which renders it useless against Mother Nature’s wrath.

Kyungsoo sits, perched in the marble window sill of his bedroom on the third floor. The backs of his thighs are cold due to the thin sleeping shorts he is wearing, his wide eyes reflect the yellowish glow of the old fashioned lamppost his parents had purchased a few years ago for the back garden. It is black and ornate, holding a simple off-white bulb encased in glass – it reminds him of the lampposts he has seen in those old English films on the streets of London. The weather, it seems, is also playing its part in setting the scene for a blustery London evening. All that is missing is a chill in the air, a few cracks of lightning and a deep rumble of thunder. Kyungsoo almost expects to see a windmill in the distance and a large body covered in a white sheet being hauled through the open roof ready to receive the lightning and bring the monster to life. Only, the black haired boy’s life isn’t a movie. Nor is he in London. Instead he continues to watch the rain pour down, he feels the muggy, humid air surrounding his body from the small window opening. The cold marble feels nice against his over-heated skin and more than anything, the weather outside leaves him with a sense of relaxation rather than the ominous terror he had witnessed in the black and white film as a kid.

A shadowed figure shifts from beneath the covers, slinging and arm out to the side and feeling nothing on the other side of the mattress.

“Soo?” He hears mumbled into the almost quiet of the room, save for the whirring wind outside. “What are you doing over there?” Jongin asks with a sleepy pout.

“Sorry, I couldn’t sleep again and the rain relaxes me.” Kyungsoo explains from his place in the window sill, just to the left of the bed.

“Come back to bed? I can’t sleep soundly without you here.” Jongin grumbles and pats the left side of the bed which feels too cold already.

“Sure” he complies and slides back in beside his boyfriend, Jongin’s sturdy front pressing up against his back.

“Night baby” Jongin supplies.

“Night Nini.” Kyungsoo mumbles back and he relishes in the soft strokes of Jongin’s fingertips running up and down his right arm, the touch is soothing and gentle and he slowly drifts into a deep slumber.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

The sun is streaking harshly through the window, the curtains still open from Kyungsoo’s rain watching last night. It’s too hot, is the first thing he notices before he rolls over onto Jongin’s firm – oh. Onto the cold bottom sheet of his bed. He shrugs it off and realises that Jongin must have gone downstairs already.

Kyungsoo’s bare feet pad light steps down the two flights of stairs and towards the kitchen where he smells eggs, bacon and coffee. That’s odd, Jongin hates coffee and the smell of it too.

“Morning Soo” A bright voice announces cheerfully.

“Morning Umma…” Kyungsoo answers warily but takes the offered breakfast anyway and sits at the large oak table.

“How did you sleep sweetie? You look tired.” His mother notes as she sips at her coffee, leaning casually against the counter opposite.

“Hmm…okay I guess. The wind was pretty loud and brutal.” He offers, still wondering where Jongin must have gone.

“Yeah, I noticed the Kim’s umbrella was in our garden this morning, totally un-usable now.” Mrs Do smiles with a chuckle because she is always telling Mrs Kim to take the umbrella inside in case the weather is bad.

“Uhmm … have you… err…” Kyungsoo begins, unsure for some reason if he should ask or not.

“What is it honey?” She presses.

“Have you seen Jongin this morning? Did he say he was going out or anything?” Kyungsoo mumbles, his eyes searching as if Jongin might materialise out of thin air.

“No sweetie I haven’t. Now come on, eat up then you need to brush your teeth since we’re going to see grandma today.” Mrs Do says with a light tone but Kyungsoo doesn’t miss the deep exhale that comes with it and the look of something different in her eyes.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

“Where on earth have you been all day… again?” Kyungsoo chastises.

“I was busy, I had dance practise early this morning and then rehearsals… I told you last night, don’t you remember?” Jongin answers sweetly as if he wasn’t ignoring his calls all day and didn’t reply to any of the texts Kyungsoo sent him.

“I’m still mad, you could have at least called me.” The black haired male pouts.

Jongin brings his sharp jawline to rest atop his boyfriend’s left shoulder.

“I’m really sorry, let me make it up to you?” Jongin asks lightly, the vibrations from his throat travelling through Kyungsoo’s hollow bones.

“No, not tonight. I have a splitting headache.” He murmurs but tilts his head against his boyfriend’s hazel brown hair which says ‘we’re good’ in the subtlest way possible.

“Here…” Jongin produces a bottle of white pills “…take these for your head, I don’t want you to get sick.” He pesters and shakes the bottle in Kyungsoo’s face.

“No Jongin!” He answers and bats his boyfriend’s hands away so fast that the brown plastic bottle goes flying into the corner of the room. “Sorry…” He says after seeing the concerned look on Jongin’s face. “…you know I don’t like taking medicine, not after you almost…” He trails off, he doesn’t need to finish. Jongin was there.

“I know, I’m sorry. Let’s just sleep then okay? Maybe that will help?” Jongin asks softly as he places a gentle kiss to both temples in an attempt to soothe them.

“Okay” Kyungsoo replies.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Jongin isn’t there again. His headache however, is. He pads downstairs as usual – grateful that it is the holidays and he doesn’t have to trudge to school with such a bad head – the smell of black coffee hits his nose again and he tries not to gag.

“Morning honey, toast?” Mrs Do asks.

“No thanks, I’m not very hungry.” He replies solemnly.

“What’s wrong?” She sounds concerned.

“Headache…had it since yesterday.” He comments, only half aware of his surroundings, his head feels like cotton wool.

“Did you take your medication Kyungsoo?” His mother’s voice takes on an authoritative edge as she gently smooths his hair down.

“No…” he feels like he is a three year old again. “…you know I don’t like medication.” He stubbornly replies.

“I don’t care. Here, take them now.” She says, handing over a bottle of white pills from the cupboard and a glass of water, watching him with folded arms.

He begrudgingly takes two of the pills, the brown bottle clanking against the oak table as he knocks them back and drinks the water. He feels as they slip down his throat and he has the urge to throw up, to get the horrible things out of his system but he knows he can’t. He doesn’t want to end up in the hospital again like last time. He shudders at the thought before he speaks up.

“Have you seen Jongin? He left again before I woke up.” Kyungsoo mumbles, pouting and angry.

“No Kyungsoo, I haven’t seen Jongin. Stop asking.” Mrs Do concludes before walking away.

‘What’s up with her this morning’ he thinks before he decides that a slice of toast actually sounds quite nice.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Jongin doesn’t come home that night. Kyungsoo stays awake in worry the entire time, his legs once again find themselves in the windowsill. The weather is still rainy and a little blustery but nothing too terrible and yet, Kyungsoo still finds his mind creating up terrible scenarios of where Jongin could be.

He could have been murdered, mugged, beaten up. He could have been blown around by the wind and crashed into a tree. His car could have broken down and forced him to walk home in the rain… he could be in the hospital, hooked up to machines and fighting for his life. More and more terrible occurrences run through his head and even the rain can’t seem to soothe his worries away.

-o-o-o-o-

His bare feet scrape harshly against the asphalt and his sleeping shorts are sticking to his thighs like a second skin. He runs and runs through the streets of his neighbourhood looking for Jongin. It’s 3.35am and he can’t understand why Jongin hasn’t returned home. His hands are shaking as they call the revised digits for the 100th time that evening. Jongin isn’t answering and Kyungsoo feels his blood run cold. He runs and runs and runs. The rain lashes against his pale skin, his fingers shaking from adrenaline. He feels as the asphalt turns into wet sludge beneath his feet. Grass and trees line his view now. He is searching in the woods, frantically running and shouting Jongin’s name. He feels the world shift around him for a moment before he senses the wet grass smash harshly into his face. His ankle is throbbing in pain as he lays there, the world turning blurry and the rain pressing down on him until he is sure he can seep straight into the mud and earth and stay there as part of the landscape. His final thought is that maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing and then his vision turns black.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

“Jongin, where’s Jongin??” Kyungsoo shouts frantically at the nurses beside him. They flinch and try to calm him down. “I won’t take your medicine until you tell me where he is!” This has been going on for a while now, the nurses losing patience with him but persevering none the less. Eventually, after the 15th time, they leave the room.

Kyungsoo stills, he is restrained in the bed and he doesn’t know why. He just wants to find Jongin. Why doesn’t anyone care about him? Why is nobody helping him look for him?

The next moment his mother walks into the room.

“Soo…” She begins.

“…don’t call me that! That’s what Jongin calls me, not you!” He lashes out, anger seeping from his tone but his mother knows better than to take it to heart by now.

“Sweetie, you need to calm down.” She says with a level voice.

“Calm down? How can I calm down when my boyfriend is MISSING and nobody seems to CARE?” He seethes.

“Do Kyungsoo! If you do not calm down I will not tell you where Jongin is, do you understand me??!!!” She shouts back and it seems to do the trick as the tension leaves Kyungsoo’s shoulders and he takes in a deep breath.

“You know where he is?” He asks suspiciously.

“You need to take your medicine first.” Mrs Do replies.

“No. Not until you tell me where Jongin is.” He answers petulantly.

“I won’t tell you about Jongin until you take your medicine. Or I can just leave and you will never know.” His mother bargains, knowing she has her son where she wants him.

There is a moment of silence in which some sort of stand-off occurs before Kyungsoo nods his head. His mother walks over, placing two pills into his mouth and gently helping him to drink the water since his arms were still bound to the bed.

“Now…tell me where Jongin is.” He demands.

“Well… Jongin isn’t here honey.” She explains gently.

“I know that…then where is he?” Kyungsoo asks, his patience wearing thin.

“He’s in your head Soo. Jongin doesn’t exist in the real world. He is someone you created.” His mother answers with a level expression.

“Stop lying to me! What have you done with him?” He is angry now, tugging harshly at the leather straps.

“I’m not lying, I’m trying to help you. You remember what happened five years ago right? With Jongin and the medication?” She asks lightly, keeping calm and noticing as her son stops tugging instantly, his body shivering. “You took the medication to get better remember? It was going so well until… until you realised that Jongin was starting to disappear.” She explains. Kyungsoo frantically shakes his head in dismissal, he doesn’t want to remember a fading Jongin. A Jongin that was barely around when he needed him. “You took your medication yesterday morning, that’s why you didn’t see Jongin last night…you went looking for him and the police found you passed out in the woods. You almost died of hyperthermia and it’s all my fault.” Mrs Do finally breaks down, her tears come heavy and fast as she sobs into her hands.

Kyungsoo’s father, who had been asked to stay away for now, enters the room and cradles his wife in his arms. He shushes her and tells her it isn’t her fault but the guilt is written on his own face too. He feels guilty for being at work so much but Kyungsoo’s medication isn’t cheap and they need the business to thrive so that they can get him the help he needs. He had been sectioned before but the bills were costly and as he began to show improvements, they checked him out and said they would continue the treatment at home. All was fine, until Kyungsoo stopped taking his medication again.

“I…I love him. He HAS to be real. You just never cared about him! You never approved of our relationship and that is why you’re trying to break us up. I bet you sent him away didn’t you? I bet you paid him not to come back or threatened him not to return!” Kyungsoo is yelling again and his mother’s tears fall faster at his hurtful words. Both his parents are then asked to leave the room by the doctor, he explains that due to Kyungsoo’s condition, he doesn’t know what he is saying. In his head, everything is real and painful and he is hurting too.

“Okay Kyungsoo…is Jongin here right now?” The doctor asks gently.

“Of course he isn’t. THEY took him away!!” He spits, nodding at the retreating backs of his parents.

“Alright then, we are here to help you okay?” The doctor announces and injects a syringe into one of the tubes that Kyungsoo is hooked up to. A sedative. Light and breezy, Kyungsoo needs to rest before he hurts himself.

Kyungsoo likes that he is sleeping, he can see Jongin in his dreams any time he wants. The medication doesn’t make him go away in his dreams. His parents can’t snatch him away from here. No, in his dreams – Jongin lives forever.

As he drifts into the unconscious land he can faintly hear the lashing of the rain against the hospital window and he also hears Jongin’s deep and rumbling laugh. Both sounds mingle and intertwine, causing Jongin’s voice to become the perfect kind of thunder in the storm that is his life.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-


	2. Chapter 2: The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hi” A deep voice speaks and Kyungsoo doesn’t lift his head completely from his crouched position against the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, as you can see I have decided to turn the original oneshot into a chaptered fic. This will be eleven chapters long and it consists of flashback chapters of kaisoo moments before all of chapter 1 happened and chapters continuing in the present day. So the chapters alternate between the past and the present. E.g this chapter is in the past, the next is the present etc..
> 
> Without further ado, enjoy!

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Chapter 2: The beginning  -o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-  
  
The school bell rings with a shrill sound in the stale air. A mass noise of scraping chairs and fluttering papers can be heard alongside noisy conversations flowing back and forth. Kyungsoo however, isn’t a witness to any of this. Instead, he sits under the stone steps at the back of the school, clutching his knees and trying to still his crying before students inevitably cross his path with the end of the school day arriving. The only thing that alerts him to the end of the school day is the caretaker in the distance, opening the school’s heavy green gates that make the educational establishment look more like a prison. From what had just transpired earlier, he can’t exactly rationalise that it _isn’t_ a prison.  
  
The images flash in his head once more and he can feel the tears prickling behind his eyes. From deep down, he feels a surge of energy. Maybe it is the desperation to escape or maybe it is the sheer anger at life that propels him forward after a whole two hours of crying. His rises to his feet, unsteady with still puffy eyes and he runs. He runs as hard and as fast as he can before the rest of the students are dismissed on the second and final bell of the afternoon. The caretaker only spares him a curious glance that passes Kyungsoo’s vision in a blur from the speed he is running. His trainers grit hard against the uneven pavement and crumbling tarmac as he finally stops, around five streets from the school when he sees a darkened alley which seems to be empty and leading nowhere. He stops, catches his breath and once again sinks to the floor in desperation.  
Desperate for air, for release and for help. The world is a cruel place and Kyungsoo thinks his heart just can’t take living through the stress and turmoil any longer.  
  
“Hi” A deep voice speaks and Kyungsoo doesn’t lift his head completely from his crouched position against the wall, his already ruined school trousers sitting on the grimy moss of the stone cobbles. He simply lifts it lightly to see a pair of black school trousers and well shined shoes standing before him. “Are you okay?” The male voice enquires and Kyungsoo feels fatigued as he eventually lifts his heavy head to see the rest of the human before him. He notices the boy is wearing a uniform but it is clear that it is different from Kyungsoo’s if not just for the black instead of grey pants, but also the yellow trim on his blazer with a different school emblem sewn into the breast pocket. His tie is loosened and a crisp, white shirt falls messily beneath the navy blue blazer.  
  
“I’m fine.” Kyungsoo says, his tone as monotonous as he feels and he pats his cheeks to try and expel some of the swelling beneath his eyes.  
  
“You don’t look fine. Want to talk about it?” The boy asks as he removes his backpack, placing it against the wall, just away from Kyungsoo’s figure. Much to the boy’s surprise, the hazel haired boy then sits next to him. His expensive blazer rubbing against the course red brick and his dark uniform trousers becoming soiled from the grimy cobbles. He reaches out a tanned hand towards his backpack that now sits beside them and produces two water bottles. He offers one to Kyungsoo. “You look like you need a drink. Come on, I have plenty.” The boy explains as he gestures the bottle towards the raven haired boy beside him, not taking no for an answer and practically forcing it into the large pale hands before him.  
  
Kyungsoo unsteadily takes a drink, relishing in the feel of the ice cold water running down his throat and he is vaguely aware of the other male in his peripheral vision, unscrewing the blue cap and also taking a gulping drink.  
  
“So, want to tell me what happened yet?” The tanned boy asks after a few minutes of silence pass between them both. Kyungsoo finally meets the boy’s face to thank him for the drink but decline his offer, however the words become lodged in his throat as he takes in the plump lips that look as soft as clouds. He has a soft, sloping nose which is paired with deep and caring, almond shaped eyes. A handsome jawline completes the boy’s striking features, completely symmetrical aside from the light and lopsided smile he gives. Handsome. In one word, Kyungsoo would sum him up with that single word because it fit so perfectly. There is something in his smile and in those captivating eyes which cause all refusals to die on his own heart shaped lips and all that leaves them is a tired sigh.  
  
“I…I’ve had a rough day at school. To put it mildly.” Kyungsoo begins, he doesn’t know why he is telling a stranger this, but something about the boy is both familiar and comforting. Something about him makes Kyungsoo trust him with even his deepest secrets. The kind boy simply nods his head in a prompt for Kyungsoo to continue. “Well, some boys in my year found out that I was gay. Or rather, they think I am gay whether it is true or not matters nothing to them. They… they caught me in the bathroom this lunchtime. I was just washing my hands, wanted to leave. They were standing there, all four of them in a line. I asked them to move politely. Then they started pushing. Talking…” Kyungsoo’s eyes water again and he wonders where the saying ‘cried myself dry’ comes from because his eyes sure as hell weren’t drying up any time soon. It looks like the hazel haired boy is about to say something but Kyungsoo continues, he doesn’t want to hear the boy’s pity – at least not yet. “…they were spitting lies about how I was watching them as they got changed in the locker room. How I was hard from watching them. How I must be gay and… and… they shoved me onto the floor and struck me around the face a few times. One boy had brought a chair from the classroom next door…they…they forced me to strip. Said they would keep beating me until I couldn’t walk, or I could strip and they would leave me alone. They didn’t. They made me sit on the chair…two of them holding my arms…one holding my legs. The other, took out his phone. He took photos and a video. Said he would show it to my parents if I wasn’t a good boy…” Tears are streaming down his face, sobs wracking his body and he can’t breathe again. The memories too fresh, the shame filling every pore in his skin and every vessel in his blood. He feels a soft hand between his shoulder blades and he flinches at first until the pressure increases and he feels soft circles being rubbed into his back as the other tells him to breathe. Slow down and breathe. “…they told me that I should like being looked at by other guys, since I was gay. That they had every right to stare at me naked because I had already looked at them naked. They took pictures, to – touched me. They soon became angry when I didn’t respond and they slapped me a few more times before throwing me in the stall and leaving the bathroom. As soon as I got dressed again and came out, everyone was looking at me. They had sent the pictures to people and they all thought I was disgusting. I saw a few of them as students showed them to me with disgust, you couldn’t see them holding me… it looked like I was… like I was showing myself to them.” Kyungsoo chokes on his words, breath still heavy but the other’s hand was still rubbing soothing circles into his back.  
  
“Did you tell a teacher what happened?” The boy askes quietly when Kyungsoo’s tears finally begin to subside.  
  
“No. I was too humiliated, too embarrassed. I just wanted to get away from everybody. I ran and I hid until school let out. I don’t know how I can go there tomorrow. How can I face everybody?” Kyungsoo’s wide eyes finally look up to meet the kind gaze.  
  
“I don’t want you to worry. You need to be stronger than them. To show them that what they did, didn’t work. You need to tell a teacher and let them be punished for what they have done.” The boy speaks, his voice firm and unwavering. Something Kyungsoo was not.  
  
“But what if…” Kyungsoo begins.  
  
“There’s no what if. You go back tomorrow, you tell the teachers what happened and you get this resolved okay? Don’t let them win. Don’t let the bullies win.” The tanned boy states, softer this time but his voice just as resolute and something in his words fill Kyungsoo with a fire and determination he has never felt before. In that moment he actually feels strong, like he can stand up to the world.  
  
“Thanks. I will, they need to be punished otherwise they will do it again, either to me or others. Thank you. Why… why are you doing this?” Kyungsoo asks, confused and bewildered by a stranger’s kindness.  
  
“Because you remind me of someone I used to know. A long time ago. He was broken and fragile. He needed that strength and I vowed that one day, I would pass on that strength to those that need it.” The boy speaks confidently but also with a little insecure chuckle because his passion was overwhelming.  
  
“Well, thank you… I don’t even know your name, I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo frowns.  
  
“Jongin, Kim Jongin. Nice to meet you.” He laughs, his eyes crinkling cutely and offers his hand out towards the raven haired boy.  
  
“Do Kyungsoo.” The boy replies as he takes the caramel hand in his own and shakes it lightly.  
  
“Well, Kyungsoo. I want you to know that what those assholes did to you was uncalled for but, I don’t want that to knock you down. You’re stronger than them and we both know it. I can tell just by looking at you.” Jongin smiles as he rises to his feet, a pained expression fleeting across his face as his numb legs finally stretch out. He holds out a hand to pull Kyungsoo from his seating position too. “Sometimes all we need is a helping hand.”  
  
“I’m still scared. Heck, in the morning I think I will be terrified.” Kyungsoo frowns. “What if they question my sexuality? I’m not ready for the world to know I’m gay.” He elaborates.  
  
“It’s okay. I’m gay too, I’ve been there. Scared, insecure, embarrassed and ashamed but I learnt the hard way Kyungsoo, that you can’t run away from your problems. You have to tackle them head on.” Jongin smiles, picking up his backpack from the floor. “Do you think you will be okay now?” He asks.  
  
“Yeah. Thank you. Sorry for taking up your time, Jongin. Thank you for listening to me.” Kyungsoo smiles.  
  
“No problem. Take care, Do Kyungsoo. Maybe I’ll see you around.” And with that, Jongin makes his way out of the dark alley and into the busy street.  
  
Kyungsoo whispers a belated ‘bye’ into the afternoon air before he walks home.  
  
When he finally reaches his house he realises his throat is still parched despite the large bottle of water Jongin gave him to drink. He opens the fridge for an ice cold bottle of water to quench his thirst.  
  
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the angst (not sorry really) haha! There will be happy moments to come for these two of course, so stay tuned!!
> 
> Please please please leave a comment if you are enjoying this, it really makes a difference to writers. It keeps us motivated and inspired when we hear that you liked it or how it made you feel. Upvotes, kudos and subscribers are also appreciated too! Every little helps (If you’re British you should get that tag line lol).
> 
> Anyway, thanks as always for reading!
> 
> Xx L xX

**Author's Note:**

> So! The weather was mental today and inspired this. It is obviously inspired by ‘It’s okay, that’s love’ too. I LOVE that drama, not just because Kyungsoo is in it, but I think it raises an important message about mental health. If you haven’t seen it yet, I recommend it! It’s different from the standard Kdrama plot which makes it interesting to me.  
> Love is always welcomed in the form of comments,kudos,subscribers,upvotes etc… I would be eternally grateful for your feedback.


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